What Is Self-Esteem?
Esteem is defined as appreciation, worth, estimate of value. Self-Esteem is the package of beliefs that you carry around in your head, that you have accepted to be the truth about yourself, whether it is or not.
Two Examples of Self-Esteem : One of low Self-Esteem , One of high Self-Esteem.
Everything you do is determined by your value judgement of yourself.
Commitment. "The quality of person's life is determined by his commitment to excellence." (vince lombardi)
People with high Self-Esteem can and do make a commitment to a cause that's equal to or greater than themselves. Make your motto "The greatest use of life is to so live your life that the use of your life outlives your life."
People with low Self-Esteem cannot make a commitment to anything . They are filled with fear, doubt, and anxiety.
Relationship. we must love people and use things, not love things and use people.
Emotional conduct of Emotional conduct of
those with those with
Low Self-Esteem High Self-Esteem
1. Critical of others 1. Accepts others as they are
2. Pessimistic 2. optimistic
3. Complains about 3. Looks at circumstances
circumstances with acceptance
4. Short temper 4. seldom loses temper
5. Never enough money, 5. Plans life positively
time, etc. around money and time
6. Reject help from others 6. Does not ask for help,
7. Expects perfection in self but welcomes it
and others 7. Expects things to go well
8. Carries heavy guilt 8. Loads no guilt on self
9. Unloads guilt on others or others
as control 9. Never uses guilt as control
10. Tries to manipulate 10. Never manipulates ; does
others persuade
11. Has rigid rules of 11. Has developed reasonable
conduct character guidelines
12. Easily addicted to alcohol, 12. Has control over impulses
drugs has own inner highs that
are Self-generated
A Self-Esteem Evaluation Exercise
(Pick those that best apply to you.)
CONDUCT
1. My conduct is usually beyond reproach.
2. When i get in trouble with others, it's usually not my fault.
3. I usually can influence other to do that which benefits both of us.
4. I cause trouble with my family members.
5. I am good at the things I do at work, home, etc.
6. I never measure up to what I really want to be or do.
7. I treat other people in a way so that they feel important and of value.
8. My family and some of my friends are disappointed in me.
9. I an basically a good person.
10. I can really be Mean to others people.
MENTAL ACHIEVEMENTS
1. I am smart.
2. When I reach my Goals, I will be Known As an important person.
3. I am well-behaved in all the things I do.
4. I am an important and valued member of my family.
5. Other people at work, school, or home think I am smart and interesting.
6. I have trouble remembering things.
7. I have never used but a small fraction of my mental capabilities
8. I am dumb about things other than the very small world I live in daily.
9. I would fear having to converse with someone with a good education.
10. I really am not very smart.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
1. My looks never please me.
2. I am strong
3. I can never get my hair the way i want it.
4. I really am good-looking.
5. Nothing in my wardrobe suits me.
6. I am popular with most everybody I meet.
7. I do not feel like my figure is as acceptable as I want it to be.
8. I do have beautiful eyes.
9. No one ever compliments me about my looks.
10. I am improving in strength and looks.
FEARS
1. I am often sad and unhappy.
2. My looks bother me.
3. I really worry a lot.
4. I am often afraid.
5. little things worry me.
6. I face my Problems and overcome them.
7. I have learned that the things you worry about never happen anyway, so I don,t worry.
8. Fear is coward. When you face it with facts action, fear flees.
9. I have learned that i can be happy by expecting to feel happy.
10. I put joy and happiness in my life by doing the things that make me feel good.
GETTING ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE
1. I feel other people are making fun of me behind my back.
2. It's hard for me to make new friends.
3. I am quite popular, because i care about people.
4. If you feel good about yourself, you will treat other people the same way.
5. I feel left out of things.
6. people often pick on me.
7. I have many friends and enjoy their companionship.
8. My fellow workers or classmates include me in their conversation and activities.
9. I don,t know how to meet new people and it'snot pleasant.
10. I am one of the most accepted and popular people I know.
HAPPINESS
1. I am a happy person.
2. I live a cheerful life.
3. I wish things were different for me.
4. most other people I know are unhappy also.
5. I really like the life I live.
6. My family life is the greatest.
7. I am unhappy most of the time.
8. Life really is the pits.
9. I am easy to get along with.
10. most days I'm sorry I got up.
ANSWERS TO SELF-ESTEEM EVALUATION EXERCISE
Positive answers receive a +1 ; Negative answers receive a -1.
CONDUCT: 1, 3, 5, 7, and re Positive statements; 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10 are Negative statements.
MENTAL ACHIEVEMENT: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 are Positive; and 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 are Negative.
PHYSICAL ACHIEVEMENTS: 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10 are Positive; 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 are Negative.
FEARS: 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 are Positive; 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are Negative.
GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE: 3, 4, 7, 8, ans 10 are Positive ; 1, 2, 5, 6, and 9 are Negative
HAPPINESS: 1, 2, 5, 6 and 9 are Positive; 3, 4, 7, 8, and 10 are Negative.
SCORING FOR SELF-ESTEEM EXERCISE
30--50 +'s Super, confident, high Self-Esteem.
10--29 +'s Well defined high Self-Esteem.
1--9 +'s A shade more high Self-Esteem than low Self-Esteem.
1--9 -'s Low Self-Esteem greater than high Self-Esteem.
10--29 -'s You really don,t like yourself; work to change this attitude.
30--50 -'s You have a serious condition of low Self-esteem; see a counselor for
growth or try to change your negative attitude.
POSITIVE SELF-ACTION STATEMENT TO ENHANCE MY
SELF-ESTEEM
1. I am my final authority for everything I do.
2. I accept full responsibility for all my actions.
3. I allow myself the freedom to make mistakes.
4. I make my own decisions and willingly accept the consequences.
5. i think for myself and speak and act with deliberation.
6. I stand up for my own opinions and convictions.
7. I do not vacillate , I make the best choice I can at the time.
8. I do not accept condemnations, "put-downs," or insults.
9. I do not condemns or belittle myself for my mistakes and shortcomings.
10. I do not blame others for my problems, mistakes, defeats, or handicaps.
11. I do not lean on others for unjustified financial or moral support.
12. I take deep satisfaction in doing my work conscientiously and well.
13. I face reality and resist nothing i cannot change.
14. I refuse to accept any condemnations, blame, shame, or guilt.
15. I refrain from no endeavor out of fear of unsatisfactory results.
16. I do not procrastinate; I do first things first.
17. I give precedence to my own needs and desires as I see fit.
18. I accept every problem and goal as a challenge to my awareness.
19. I purge myself of any blame, shame, guilt, or remorse.
20. I do not accept advice against my better judgment.
21. I do not depend on others for confirmation or approval.
22. I am patient, kind, and gentle with myself.
23.I discipline myself in line with my life objectives.
24. I do nothing to excess, I avoid self-indulgence.
25.I fulfill all commitments, both to myself and others.
26. I follow all undertakings through to emotional satisfaction.
27.I follow all undertakings through to a logical conclusions.
28. I take the initiative in personal contacts and relationship.
29.I freely express my emotions i see fit.
30. I readily admit mistakes and shortcomings.
31. I walk erect and look everyone in the eye with a friendly gaze.
32. I do not deny my needs, feelings, or opinions to please others.
33. I am warm and friendly toward all I contact.
34. I recognize everyone as innately "good".
35. I feel warm and loving toward myself.
36. I choose my words carefully, convey and express freely.
37. I accept and realize that we are the products of our thoughts and words.
Note: We learn by Doing
Esteem is defined as appreciation, worth, estimate of value. Self-Esteem is the package of beliefs that you carry around in your head, that you have accepted to be the truth about yourself, whether it is or not.
Two Examples of Self-Esteem : One of low Self-Esteem , One of high Self-Esteem.
Everything you do is determined by your value judgement of yourself.
Commitment. "The quality of person's life is determined by his commitment to excellence." (vince lombardi)
People with high Self-Esteem can and do make a commitment to a cause that's equal to or greater than themselves. Make your motto "The greatest use of life is to so live your life that the use of your life outlives your life."
People with low Self-Esteem cannot make a commitment to anything . They are filled with fear, doubt, and anxiety.
Relationship. we must love people and use things, not love things and use people.
Emotional conduct of Emotional conduct of
those with those with
Low Self-Esteem High Self-Esteem
1. Critical of others 1. Accepts others as they are
2. Pessimistic 2. optimistic
3. Complains about 3. Looks at circumstances
circumstances with acceptance
4. Short temper 4. seldom loses temper
5. Never enough money, 5. Plans life positively
time, etc. around money and time
6. Reject help from others 6. Does not ask for help,
7. Expects perfection in self but welcomes it
and others 7. Expects things to go well
8. Carries heavy guilt 8. Loads no guilt on self
9. Unloads guilt on others or others
as control 9. Never uses guilt as control
10. Tries to manipulate 10. Never manipulates ; does
others persuade
11. Has rigid rules of 11. Has developed reasonable
conduct character guidelines
12. Easily addicted to alcohol, 12. Has control over impulses
drugs has own inner highs that
are Self-generated
A Self-Esteem Evaluation Exercise
(Pick those that best apply to you.)
CONDUCT
1. My conduct is usually beyond reproach.
2. When i get in trouble with others, it's usually not my fault.
3. I usually can influence other to do that which benefits both of us.
4. I cause trouble with my family members.
5. I am good at the things I do at work, home, etc.
6. I never measure up to what I really want to be or do.
7. I treat other people in a way so that they feel important and of value.
8. My family and some of my friends are disappointed in me.
9. I an basically a good person.
10. I can really be Mean to others people.
MENTAL ACHIEVEMENTS
1. I am smart.
2. When I reach my Goals, I will be Known As an important person.
3. I am well-behaved in all the things I do.
4. I am an important and valued member of my family.
5. Other people at work, school, or home think I am smart and interesting.
6. I have trouble remembering things.
7. I have never used but a small fraction of my mental capabilities
8. I am dumb about things other than the very small world I live in daily.
9. I would fear having to converse with someone with a good education.
10. I really am not very smart.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
1. My looks never please me.
2. I am strong
3. I can never get my hair the way i want it.
4. I really am good-looking.
5. Nothing in my wardrobe suits me.
6. I am popular with most everybody I meet.
7. I do not feel like my figure is as acceptable as I want it to be.
8. I do have beautiful eyes.
9. No one ever compliments me about my looks.
10. I am improving in strength and looks.
FEARS
1. I am often sad and unhappy.
2. My looks bother me.
3. I really worry a lot.
4. I am often afraid.
5. little things worry me.
6. I face my Problems and overcome them.
7. I have learned that the things you worry about never happen anyway, so I don,t worry.
8. Fear is coward. When you face it with facts action, fear flees.
9. I have learned that i can be happy by expecting to feel happy.
10. I put joy and happiness in my life by doing the things that make me feel good.
GETTING ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE
1. I feel other people are making fun of me behind my back.
2. It's hard for me to make new friends.
3. I am quite popular, because i care about people.
4. If you feel good about yourself, you will treat other people the same way.
5. I feel left out of things.
6. people often pick on me.
7. I have many friends and enjoy their companionship.
8. My fellow workers or classmates include me in their conversation and activities.
9. I don,t know how to meet new people and it'snot pleasant.
10. I am one of the most accepted and popular people I know.
HAPPINESS
1. I am a happy person.
2. I live a cheerful life.
3. I wish things were different for me.
4. most other people I know are unhappy also.
5. I really like the life I live.
6. My family life is the greatest.
7. I am unhappy most of the time.
8. Life really is the pits.
9. I am easy to get along with.
10. most days I'm sorry I got up.
ANSWERS TO SELF-ESTEEM EVALUATION EXERCISE
Positive answers receive a +1 ; Negative answers receive a -1.
CONDUCT: 1, 3, 5, 7, and re Positive statements; 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10 are Negative statements.
MENTAL ACHIEVEMENT: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 are Positive; and 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 are Negative.
PHYSICAL ACHIEVEMENTS: 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10 are Positive; 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 are Negative.
FEARS: 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 are Positive; 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are Negative.
GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE: 3, 4, 7, 8, ans 10 are Positive ; 1, 2, 5, 6, and 9 are Negative
HAPPINESS: 1, 2, 5, 6 and 9 are Positive; 3, 4, 7, 8, and 10 are Negative.
SCORING FOR SELF-ESTEEM EXERCISE
30--50 +'s Super, confident, high Self-Esteem.
10--29 +'s Well defined high Self-Esteem.
1--9 +'s A shade more high Self-Esteem than low Self-Esteem.
1--9 -'s Low Self-Esteem greater than high Self-Esteem.
10--29 -'s You really don,t like yourself; work to change this attitude.
30--50 -'s You have a serious condition of low Self-esteem; see a counselor for
growth or try to change your negative attitude.
POSITIVE SELF-ACTION STATEMENT TO ENHANCE MY
SELF-ESTEEM
1. I am my final authority for everything I do.
2. I accept full responsibility for all my actions.
3. I allow myself the freedom to make mistakes.
4. I make my own decisions and willingly accept the consequences.
5. i think for myself and speak and act with deliberation.
6. I stand up for my own opinions and convictions.
7. I do not vacillate , I make the best choice I can at the time.
8. I do not accept condemnations, "put-downs," or insults.
9. I do not condemns or belittle myself for my mistakes and shortcomings.
10. I do not blame others for my problems, mistakes, defeats, or handicaps.
11. I do not lean on others for unjustified financial or moral support.
12. I take deep satisfaction in doing my work conscientiously and well.
13. I face reality and resist nothing i cannot change.
14. I refuse to accept any condemnations, blame, shame, or guilt.
15. I refrain from no endeavor out of fear of unsatisfactory results.
16. I do not procrastinate; I do first things first.
17. I give precedence to my own needs and desires as I see fit.
18. I accept every problem and goal as a challenge to my awareness.
19. I purge myself of any blame, shame, guilt, or remorse.
20. I do not accept advice against my better judgment.
21. I do not depend on others for confirmation or approval.
22. I am patient, kind, and gentle with myself.
23.I discipline myself in line with my life objectives.
24. I do nothing to excess, I avoid self-indulgence.
25.I fulfill all commitments, both to myself and others.
26. I follow all undertakings through to emotional satisfaction.
27.I follow all undertakings through to a logical conclusions.
28. I take the initiative in personal contacts and relationship.
29.I freely express my emotions i see fit.
30. I readily admit mistakes and shortcomings.
31. I walk erect and look everyone in the eye with a friendly gaze.
32. I do not deny my needs, feelings, or opinions to please others.
33. I am warm and friendly toward all I contact.
34. I recognize everyone as innately "good".
35. I feel warm and loving toward myself.
36. I choose my words carefully, convey and express freely.
37. I accept and realize that we are the products of our thoughts and words.
Note: We learn by Doing
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