Ways to Happiness

Being happy is something we all want, although not everyone seems to be that good at it. Yet there is a range of routes in which the right method can be found for many different personalities. Here are some methods you can use to make yourself happier and also to help others to cheer up.

Three key routes to happiness:

Sensory Hedonism Description Pay attention to the information from your senses. Look for the beauty in a flower, a painting and anything you see. Focus on the subtle tastes and aromas of food. Feel the marvellous texture of stone and skin. Immerse yourself in the sounds of nature and of the great classics. In this way, enjoy the pleasures of life. Ride on roller-coasters and go bungee-jumping. Make the most of each moment of your sexual encounters. A key trick is to do different things. More of the same gets boring. Something new or something you have not done for a while can be more fun. Savor each moment. Take mental snapshots and relive these again. Learn to meditate and live each moment as it is forever. Be constantly attentive and mindful. Discussion We experience the world through our senses and there are direct connections between inputs and sensations of pleasure, from childhood smells to adult sexual gratification. Sensory pleasure can also be derived from thinking about information received via the senses, such as when you meditate on a the beauty of a flower. Stimulation may also be gained by legal and illegal chemical means, including tobacco, alcohol and narcotics. Such methods have clear risks, of course, and addiction does not lead to happiness. The term 'hedonism' is often connected with excess, though excessive indulgence is not particularly connected with pleasure. Over-indulgence happens when people chase fading pleasure, or work on the principle that consuming more will intensify or lengthen the pleasure. In fact many pleasures do not work like this. There may be a period of 'high' but this never lasts, and seeking greater stimulation only has a transitory effect. Effective sensory hedonism works best when it is done in moderation, spreading out the intense moments of enjoyment over time, rather than chasing a permanent or enduring high. The first bite of chocolate is always the best. After a lot, chocolate is just calories. Achievable Challenge Description Take on challenges. Set yourself goals, including short- medium- and long-term objectives. Think about what you want to achieve in life and then plan your way there in steps you can tick off a list. Make sure the challenges you take on are achievable, so do not try to jump over the moon. Also make sure your challenges challenge you and are not too easy. Dive into your challenges and always do your best. Get lost in the action, focusing on the doing and not just 'being happy'. Believe in yourself and your goals. Enjoy the journey as well as the achievement at the end. Discussion One of the basic ways we get happy is by meeting our goals, as opposed to the frustration and anger we feel when we do not. Setting goals and meeting them might hence seem an easy route to happiness. The problem is that goals which are too easy are not that rewarding. Our brains want us to improve and grow and make us happy only when we deserve it. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi uses the term 'flow' for the state we get into when we are engaged in something enjoyable, where time seems to fly by. He also describes an 'autotelic personality' (auto=self, telos=goal) as someone who sets themselves challenging, but achievable, goals. An important part of finding flow is letting go of the self. When you are immersed in doing something, you lose track of your sense . This can be particularly scary for those who are very self-focused and, paradoxically, the selfish often have difficulty finding happiness. There is also a curious 'work-play' paradox, where people at work are dreaming of holidays, yet sitting on the beach is quickly boring. Asked about when they were happiest, many people will describe times at work when they achieved significant goals. Devoted Service Description A respectable and sometimes surprising route to happiness is through service to others. This may be in a small way, helping people where you can. It may be in a public career such as teaching and it may entail (but does not require) privation and personal sacrifice. Service starts with respect and care for other people. It does not mean putting yourself lower than them but it also does not mean taking a position of superiority. Being other-focused requires empathy, being able to sense their emotions. You should seek to stand in their shoes and see things from their point of view. Seek to understand their beliefs and values and why they hold these. It is difficult to dislike another person you truly understand. Discussion Happiness through others is a vicarious activity. When you see their joy, you can bask in the reflected pleasure, taking private comfort in the knowledge that you are engaging in work that is socially very respectable. One reason why connecting with others is so pleasurable is that it increases our sense of identity as we expand our 'selves' into their 'selves', making one larger 'virtual person'. It is said that 'what goes around, comes around' and 'as you sow, so also shall you reap'. Service can be a powerful way of building personal security. When you help others, then the likelihood of others helping you also increases. If you have helped a hundred people, then all it takes is one to help you when you need assistance. A classic example of joyful service to others is Mother Teresa's lifetime work in Calcutta. And she is far from alone: many have spent much of their lives helping the poor, the needy and just the public at large. Despite what many appear to become, politicians may well start from a desire to serve and a number do sustain integrity in this cause throughout their political careers.